sometimes i worry, that this isn't just a phase.

i want balance.

i feel a lack of color here. everything is out of reach. my chest pulls tighter and tighter. imagining you're here is not the same. tell me this wasn't a dream. tell me you're still coming home.

tell me when you hear my heart stop. you're the only one that'll know. tell me when you hear my silence. you're the only one that'll listen.

the thing is, i have no outlets to plug in to. i feel like i'm losing battery power.

there's nothing on my mind anymore but getting out, and honestly, i'm not sure i know what i'm trying to get out of.

there i am, wondering, where did i go?

sitting out on the back steps late at night praying that one day i'd be able to find myself.

even if myself, was in some other person.

these days, i've lost touch with everything.

in a room full of people, i'm just looking for me.

i have ignored everything.

this is the hardest part. only two of us in the world, know what i'm feeling.

she starts laughing and says, it's so obvious, i don't know why you haven't figured it out yet.

sooner or later, everything gets to the surface.
sooner or later, everything becomes clear.


she says, where does your mind go, when it starts to wander?
and now, when my mind starts to go, i know right where it's going.

if you're the one losing, than why do i feel lost.
the hardest thing was watching you leave me there.
but i was the one who left.